Hard Truth

How many of us can admit to being selfish? I can 🙋🏽‍♀️. I am picky about my time and I am selective of where I put my money. Most people would agree with these statements because its a vague and easy answer. Putting the needs and wants of others ahead of your own is not so easy. I do simple things like make my husband's lunch or take care of all the household laundry. These are regular everyday occurrences that I would need to attend to for myself so its not much of a stretch to add one more person. I don't want this post to sound like a scolding or to make it seem like I need (or want) a pat on the back for anything because that is not the case. The hard truth is time, effort and energy are being squandered on selfish things. Think about the last time you did something completely selfless; putting yourself out there for a friend, family member, neighbor or even a stranger? It reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe can't find a selfless good deed that doesn't make her feel good because feeling good makes it a selfish act. My last selfless good deed was making change for the guy at the cash register at Target on Sunday morning. I overheard the cashier tell the guy that she could not break a $50 bill because a few people had paid with large bills and cleared her till. I offered to break his bill and he thanked me. I didn't feel any different, it was an added minute or so to my day but it seemed like the right thing to do because I couldn't ignore what I had overheard and I had the change in my wallet. Now think about the last time someone did something for you, thought of you and your needs? For me it was when Kevin did the dishes while I was out. He cleaned the sink and loaded the dishwasher. Sounds mundane but to me it was sweet and considerate of him to save me some time on a day where I would be coming home later than usual. Here's where this all comes together... I recently read one of the most touching obituaries about a teacher that I never met from a high school that I did not attend. The person or persons who described the life of this man made it so I (a stranger) could learn about who he was, what he stood for, and miss him all in one paragraph. My hope for my own life is to have people know me, the real me - all the faults and virtues. To be missed only by those who took the time to really be a part of my existence on earth. We all know an attention seeker or two (or three or four); people who move from drama to drama, injecting themselves into situations and finding any possible connection so they can gain sympathy, empathy or worse, cause trouble and stress for others. With that said, I am an advocate for second chances and I truly believe that with maturity comes clarity and people can change through experience. My own actions as a teen and into young adulthood can be called into question. I don't shy away from accountability which is why I am putting emphasis on finding a greater purpose in this world. If at least one person who reads this message can alter their thinking either to let go of people dragging you down or pick up a few new habits like being more kind and present in their surroundings; than I can add this blog to my list of accomplishments.