UP week 9

If gaining weight was my goal I would be on my way to becoming a Gold Medalist. New weight as of an hour ago is 209.2lbs. Immediate reaction - 'Wow!'😩 I did what all curious people do about any topic, ever, I googled 'female 5'3" 209lbs'. The top link took me to a car insurance website, the next few were about BMI's and after that, there was a site with testimonials, starting weight, ending weight and before/after photos of women on their own weight loss journey's. It was encouraging to see women out there, heavier than I am celebrating when they get to the 210lbs mark. AND there are plenty in my shoes who start at 200+ pounds and work their way down to something healthier. I am the only one standing in my way. I have to start from the very beginning, back to basics, every single food choice, create a routine during my work day that allows me to accomplish the work that needs to be done for the business AND the work that needs to be done on ME.

Here's how my week went... nothing too exciting or dramatic on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday but on Thursday I did something CRAZY! I washed my hair for the first time without conditioner 😱. I have always had curly, matted hair and the normal order was shampoo and then conditioner but lately, while using my usual hair products, I noticed my hair was getting greasier and just felt different. The outcome to skipping the conditioner wasn't anything drastic, but I'm going to try it again a few more washes to see what happens. Thursday night continued to bring surprises, I'm going to get very personal now so this is the exit point for my close family members (brothers, son etc.). Sexy Time with Kev got a little rough (on purpose and mutually enjoyed, of course) but when that happens, especially if its close to my time of the month, I get some early evidence of what's to come. With that said, I went to bed on Thursday night with the logic that my period is due to arrive so I put in a tampon just to be safe. THANK GOD I DID! The alarm went off on Friday morning and I felt an itch somewhere in my lower region (I can't remember if it was my butt or my lady parts) and as I went to scratch, that's when I felt dampness 😳 This isn't the first time in my adult life to wake to a moment like this. Not sure how other women react but here is my process *cue James Bond background music* Stop all abrupt movements. Look around for Kleenex or anything else that can be used to plug the drain. In this case, I found nothing. So I do the finger test. The finger test gives me the severity of the damage before I get up and run to the bathroom. The finger test also gages whether I have to wake-up Kevin from his sweet dreams and alert him that he may be an accomplice to a murder scene in the sheets. The finger test on Friday morning revealed my greatest fear. A fear that I had no idea I had until that very instant. My finger was clear. It was damp but clear. That's when I decided to pull off my light gray pajama pants and I saw the wet mark. I did what anyone would do, I smelled it. The horror set in as I was hit with the stench of urine. I jumped to my feet, scared the crap out of Zeus, and started feeling the sheets for wetness; there was none. I ran to the bathroom and as I sat on the toilet I thought to myself, 'maybe it was a wet dream - women have wet dreams too, right?' Then I pulled out my safety tampon and it was fully absorbed with pee. If it wasn't for that tampon, I would have peed the bed, I am certain that's what would have happened. I went back into the bedroom and I told my half-asleep husband that I had wet myself. He asked 'why?' and I told him the truth, 'how the hell should I know? It wasn't my intention!' We laughed a little, he didn't mean to ask why 😅. I honestly don't know what to make of it. I know I had 'emptied the tank' the night before because that's the routine... pee, wash-up and brush my teeth (sometimes floss, ok rarely floss🙄). As for the urgency to go pee, it never woke me as it would normally. And then to top it off, the act of peeing, the release itself, did not wake me. Needless to say, with all these questions and no answers, I went to bed Friday night pretty scared that it might happen again. It didn't. I think back to that one time I joked about sneezing so hard that I peed a little and this recent event has me a tad worried that I may be in for some bladder issues in the future 😬. On a happier note, I went to the Motown Christmas Show last night (my second time, now becoming an annual tradition) and I learned the name of the Sexy Grandpa, its Chris. He sings so beautifully, I have no idea how old he is but he is mesmerizing. I brought my new friend Edie with me, this is going to be the last time I refer to her as 'new', she is officially a friend (she's not going anywhere, she knows too much now).

I have to get on with my day, heading to Costco on the Sunday before Christmas - wish me luck.

OH! and as for the weekly full-body selfie, I'll add it later, I can't seem to get the image to load properly and I don't have time to figure it out right now. Click back later today for hopefully what will be the first and last picture of this particular 'female 5'3" 209.2lbs' ☝🏻