Welcome Distraction

As I get older, and I'd like to think, wiser; I appreciate and welcome distractions. The worries, concerns and stresses in my life aren't going away but I am grateful for the moments that bring me joy and peace. My need for control works against me sometimes because my anxiety and fear kick into overdrive when control is lost. I prefer to do everything myself. I take responsibility when things go wrong and I enjoy the sense of accomplishment when it all goes exactly as I've planned. For over 8 months, nothing I have planned has come close to being accomplished. 2020 has truly tested my will and my strength. I've noticed small changes, changes I am not happy to admit to. For example, it takes a lot more focus for me to finish even the smallest of tasks, like grocery shopping or washing my hair. I never used to need a grocery list. I could recall what my pantry and fridge looked like before I left the house and very few times would I forget anything. NOW, I am reminded that we have no bread when I go to make our lunch in the morning. If someone held a gun to my head and said, 'When’s the last time you went to the supermarket?', I would have to guess and beg for my life. The other day, I forgot to wash the conditioner out of my hair. It was almost 11pm and I was too tired to do anything about it. I am torn because my heart is back in Canada, with our son, and my mind NEEDS to be here but its hard for me to reconcile the two. With all that said, I am so thankful for the small gestures that get me through the day. My worries are eased with a funny meme or a smiley face emoji from him. I find comfort in our video chats and the sound of his laughter (even if its at my expense). My advice, to anyone who is separated from a loved one, is this... Taking your mind off of things doesn't mean you care less or have forgotten. It can be a necessity to gain perspective and balance; a chance to breathe while still dealing with the weight of a situation. My blog is a Welcome Distraction.