What’s Worse?

*** I am writing this post from my cell phone so please forgive me for the inevitable typos or ridiculous autocorrect. Proofreading is a luxury of the past 😐 ***

It’s no secret that I have been overwhelmed by life lately. A rock and a hard place feels more like a boulder and a 40' concrete wall. Kevin and I have lived through the motto, ‘worse comes from indecision than wrong decision’ (someone brave said that once). I still believe that to be true but I never applied it to personal relationships before. For example, my dad has been on my mind a lot. I have so many distractions, a to-do list longer than available hours, and yet I wonder how he is doing. I struggle with making a quick phone call or leaving well enough alone. It’s a complicated situation but I do love him. My family doesn’t talk about feelings, at least not the positive ones. We are prone to expressing anger, resentment, or making others feel guilty; basically all the selfish emotions that turn a caring person into a very difficult human to love. I hate to admit that I have fallen into that category sometimes. Another one of my shortcomings is avoiding the hard truth, trying to glaze over an issue because I want to be the good guy. I envy those who know exactly how to deal with their surroundings in every situation and come out the other end confident and balanced. Then again, those people may not exist, they just might be better at bottling their negative emotions. So, what’s worse? Living a quiet life with some guilt for my inaction or inviting the problem back in, to satisfy a need for confirmation of my feelings? The boulder or the concrete wall?